I Never Wanted to Love Dallas
After a childhood spent in Northern California and college years in Austin, I vowed to live in a similar place. But in spite of my resolve, I ended up here, leaving the lovely, temperate, mountainous Boulder, Colorado on an especially mild summer day to arrive in Dallas during a triple-digit heat-wave.
Photos: Joslyn Taylor
Joslyn Taylor writes Simple Lovely, a blog about the simple pleasures in life that draws an audience from around the world.
When I fell for Dallas, it wasn’t love at first site.
It was a gradual falling, surprising even, not unlike the sudden realization that the friend you’ve known for ages but never felt romantic about is “the one.” In fact, it’s altogether possible I may have even hated Dallas (I know, dramatic, but aren’t all love stories filled with some degree of irrational drama?)
After a childhood spent in Northern California and college years in Austin, I vowed to live in a similar place – geographically blessed, with a pedestrian-friendly layout and a laid-back culture. In that often close-minded way of passionate, righteous youth, I was fundamentally against everything a town like Dallas seemingly represented and fully bought into the stereotypes — it was materialistic, über -conservative, shallow. But in spite of my resolve (and for all sorts of logical reasons), my love and I ended up here, leaving the lovely, temperate, mountainous Boulder, Colorado on an especially mild summer day (I think the high was 71) to arrive in Dallas during one of the triple-digit heat-wave summers that we seem to court around here.
I never thought we’d actually stay. That was 10 years ago.
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I wish I could say that I quickly got on-board and immediately began seeking out the cool, the interesting, the fantastic things to love about this city, but I didn’t. And I really had no excuse. Unlike many transplants, we didn’t move straight to the suburbs in search of loads of square footage only to be disillusioned by the lack of trees and abundance of big box stores. No, we went straight to the heart of the city, living in the Oak Lawn area, then Knox-Henderson; we bought our first home on the M streets and then our second in a leafy enclave in Lake Highlands. But nevertheless, I’d restart my campaign to leave every few months, to flee to cooler environs (both literally and figuratively.) I wanted Portland or Seattle, Chicago or Minneapolis (frigid winters be damned.) Anywhere but here. Hang with me here, as I’m sure you’re wondering how a net reduction in shopping could possibly result in the discovery that I was “in love” with my city, but I assure you it did. First off (and I realize this is a bit obvious), a lot of time is freed-up when you’re not schlepping around town in search of things to buy that you don’t really need, factor in the time saved by not returning those needless things you bought, not shopping online and not thinking what you’d like to buy (ok perhaps I had a smidge of a shopping problem), and all the sudden there’s a lot of free time to fill. While I was busy finally discovering my city after 10 years as a resident, I was also chronicling my adventures on my blog, as part of a series on the “spending hiatus.” I suddenly wanted to share (albeit subtly) this newfound love for my city with my readers, gently dissuading all those misguided souls that still believed Dallas was just a hotbed of big hair, conspicuous consumption and, well…malls. I had to make sure they knew it was smart and cultural and stylish and nuanced and well, pretty much the opposite of what I had believed it to be for all those years. And in the telling, I believed it. Firmly. Unequivocally. Thus, here I am, not merely a resident of my city, but a denizen ¬of it.
And then came the turning point. I’m sure, looking back, that there were actually several subtle things leading up to the revelation that I was falling in love with my town: those life changes that suddenly cause you to see the world differently — having my two daughters, creating friendships with like-minded Dallasites, buying our current home in a neighborhood I didn’t even know existed, one wrought with hills and huge towering trees and creeks. And while I’m sure those things helped to forge the path toward this newfound softening, it was a simple yet radical decision that pushed me over the edge.
I decided to stop buying things.
And fill it I did. Newly inspired to disprove my deep-seeded belief that Dallas was merely the sum of its malls and restaurants, I finally ventured out in earnest.
There were Nasher Saturdays where my five-year-old and I did yoga in the sculpture garden, learned how to African dance and gawked at Brancusi’s “The Kiss,” and regular picnics at the arboretum, my girls running wild through the vast lawns. I started weekly yoga classes, marveled at the thousands of origami butterflies at the Crow Collection and (due to a fairly strong new obsession with “gastro lit”) cooked… a lot. Trips to the local shed at the farmer’s market gave way to cabbage braised in butter, fresh Vietnamese spring roll and loads of arugula salads.
We obtained Library cards, explored parks and took bike rides to White Rock Lake, spotting cranes and turtles in the wetland areas. I took a sewing class, attended clothing swaps and art events and brought side-dishes to neighborhood block parties, and in the process met a slew of wonderfully groovy new friends.
I still daydream from time-to-time of permanently decamping to a little house in the Pacific Northwest, all loamy and green and misty, rife with farmer’s markets and hippies. But these days, it’s a lot less often.
My wife and I felt the exact same way!!! Only replace North Carolina with growing up closer to Fort Worth where it seems like everybody is a lot more laid back, and replace Austin with College Station, where good ol’ fashion hospitality and sense of belonging fall hand-in-hand. We have learned that to truly appreciate Dallas you have to peel the layers of the onion back a little bit. I will take my small 1950’s home North of White Rock any day over the square footage you could purchase to the North. Thank you for your insights into what Dallas has to offer.
29 May 2009 at 9:53 am